Have you given up on your gym resolution yet? Don’t worry we have
too (who are we kidding, we didn’t even make it through Jan 1st).
It’s the same every year, that slow week between Christmas and New Year’s that leaves us lounging, post-holiday-gorging, and deciding on which resolutions we’ll make (read: actually try to stick to) to shape our the New Year.
#1 Go to the gym
#2 Cut out sugar
#3 Eat at least one salad a day (fine, at least a vegetable)
#4 Stop drinking (except on every second Sundays and it can only be red wine)
#5 Lose 10lbs
#6 Eat vitamins (actually on a daily basis and not as a gorge the second you feel a cold coming on)
…and the list goes on and on, or at least as long as the bottle of wine lasted since you had to purge the rest of your stock before going cold-turkey.
Then comes the day, the literal big one, January 1st. You roll over hungover AF, and after snoozing the alarm fifty thousand times, get up and put on your sports bra and leggings. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Fast forward 24 hours, you’re sore and tired and your friend just invited you to the ‘Happy Hour of All Happy Hours’. And just like that, it’s all gone.
But we’re here to tell you it doesn’t have to be like that! We’ve created a plan for you to achieve the ‘New Year, New You’ promise you made to yourself, all without leaving your couch!
Remember when your friends were all buying insane amounts of vegetables only to produce an ounce of odd pulpy juice? Yup, it’s that stuff only without ANY of the work or grocery shopping. Pressed Juice offers all sorts of crazy subscriptions to choose from, tailored to your exact dietary needs.
We’re suggesting a nice 3-day cleanse to start your 2017 off right. It includes a full rainbow of drinks from the leafy greens to the sweet pinks, with each bottle doing something magical for your body. Easy peasy, right? Head to their website, choose from three different cleanses and just like that the juice will appear at your door…now all you have to do is drink it.
Red wine always has a way of coming back and haunting you. Sometimes it’s the same night or maybe the next morning, and if not then, it’ll come back to get you in a couple of months when your teeth have turned a deep maroon color. But don’t worry, your smile’s 2017 fate isn’t set yet.
ShopVenture suggests HiSmile as the perfect fix for you and your stained grillz. Their formula promises to whiten teeth within just 10 minutes and boasts up to 8 shades whiter with only 6 applications! Order it online, wait til it’s delivered to your door, and apply while catching all the new season premiers! Read HiSmile’s reviews here…it really works!
3. HUNGRY ROOT
The gym is the first thing we think about when New Year’s hits because, well, who doesn’t want a hotter body? To our dismay, we can’t all wake up being as fit as the Beckham family, and since the gym is possibly the worst thing ever, let’s look at that other miserable option: dieting.
There are a million diets out there. Most give you a guide to follow and a grocery list of obscure ingredients to supplement the delicious things you’re not supposed to eat. But how do you choose?
Our suggestion: Hungry Root, because quite simply they’re a grocery store AND offer bundled meals. Their bundles not only ensure a healthy intake of vegetables at every meal but are under 500 calories and cook in under 7mins! They’re also reasonably priced and include dessert, which is cookie dough. You read it correctly…C-O-O-K-I-E-D-O-U-G-H. Order online and cookie dough (and a bunch of veggies) are delivered to your door.
4. LIL BUFF
Cutting out sugar is hard, especially if you have a sweet tooth, and if you don’t you’re the luckiest person on the planet. When trying to cut out sugar, don’t set the bar too high. Instead, start small with Lil’ Buff Bakery’s cakes. Not only do they bake in your MICROWAVE in 2-3 MINUTES, but you can eat the whole delicious cake for less than 300 CALORIES! Yes, with Lil’ Buff, you can bake your cake and eat it too.
Full disclosure: you will need to buy a couple other small ingredients like applesauce and eggs, but this is so worth the sweet treat to come. If this isn’t convincing enough, read real customers’ reviews here!
We’re calling this one the “Fake-it-till-you-make-it”. This year, don’t wait a month to see the results of your new juice cleanse and diet. Instead, squeeze yourself into a perfect hourglass shape with Sleek Waist Boutique’s Mesh Waist Trainer Corset. It’s lightweight, breathable and totally adjustable so you can tighten it as your cleanse starts taking effect!
Then when you’re in your perfect shape (since you’re following all your resolutions to a ’T’ and definitely not cheating by eating the Lil Buff icing with a spoon), you’ll undo the corset and hopefully stay in the same shape…kinda like an ice cube! Nervous the water won’t be fully set? Gain confidence by reading all this corset’s positive reviews here!
We’re not trying to brag or anything, but we’re pretty sure the ShopVenture 2017 plan is the best thing since the home gym. All available from your computer and delivered directly to your door. We promise NO results, since we were all gifted subscription boxes for Christmas and have had chocolate delivered bi-weekly. But best of luck!